On secrets

If I had an iPod I would have this track on loop. The lyrics don't really make a lot of sense but that's okay, they're still nice to listen to. But what really kills me is the cello, it's so awesomely haunting and sad I just want to lie down on a bed of dry leaves in a park somewhere. You may know this song from The Sorceror's Apprentice but the video below is from Zweiohrküken, where the track first debuted. Because one, Zweiohrküken is fun to say (just try it) and two, this movie is written by, directed, and produced by the same person who stars in it. And Til Schweiger is hot. And rabbits without ears.

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So I think I've found my calling, and it involves going back to school. I have decided that I want again to be a lawyer. And instead of becoming a corporate lawyer which I feel will be too exciting for me, I will be a litigation lawyer and have lots of fun preparing lawsuits. I will make a lot of money running after Evil Corporations with class-action lawsuits calling out their anti-consumer antics. Like what's up with your Koko Krunch packaging Nestle? I almost picked up the 500g "Econo Pack" at the supermarket last night but fortunately for me I am neurotic so I decided to compare prices across SKUs. Out came my calculator and what I discovered was that while the 330g box costs something like 0.39 pesos per gram, the so-called Econo Pack costs around 0.45 pesoses per gram! So I guess they were right, it is indeed economical but not for us, no sir.

And the moral of this story is that it pays to be neurotic. Look at all the positive traits that are usually symptoms of neurosis: 

...anxiety, sadness or depression, anger, irritability, mental confusion, low sense of self-worth, etc., behavioral symptoms such as phobic avoidance, vigilance, impulsive and compulsive acts, lethargy, etc., cognitive problems such as unpleasant or disturbing thoughts, repetition of thoughts and obsession, habitual fantasizing, negativity and cynicism, etc. Interpersonally, neurosis involves dependency, aggressiveness, perfectionism, schizoid isolation, socio-culturally inappropriate behaviors, etc.

Ok, so maybe the only positive symptom is vigilance, which we all need nowadays. Vigilance against pickpockets, against the corrupt in government, against the subliminal messages in advertising, against encroaching waistlines, etc etc. Still, I think it's cool if more people would be a little bit more neurotic. It'd be like everyone was on drugs and there would be more peace and less war.

But seriously, I think I might be more than just a little bit neurotic. Psychotic, even. Like this morning I was thinking of what I should blog about. I imagined opening with "So I've decided to always be sarcastic and ironic in my blog," which at first glance is harmless, but as I pondered the implications of such a statement, my inner world was thrown into a turmoil. Would this mean that I haven't been sarcastic and ironic until now? And if I had been, what was I saying this for? Who am I trying to fool, and to what end? And I could not come up with any kind of motivation for this decision, none whatsoever and that was really scary. I went deeper (Inception, is that you?) and wondered what I did with the external stimuli I was receiving, and I found that although I reacted to some of them quite normally, there was sometimes a hint of irrationality. The whole thing was quite maddening. Literally maddening like if I screamed my lungs out at the passing traffic on EDSA and the incompetent enforcers and the tonto pedestrians. Screaming like this is irrational. I reckon this is the first sign of losing touch with reality.

I came back from the rabbit hole of my own mind and one of the more relevant realizations I had is that people who laugh at jokes they don't understand are not stupid. The reaction is natural, as I discovered earlier when, not comprehending what I was thinking, I could not help but laugh.