First Time

I can remember my first time only vaguely. I was fifteen years old, a junior in high school. It all started after class hours in the computer room. I don't recall any feelings of fear or anxiety. If anything, I must have been excited. Even then, I jumped into any new experience I could.

A. was sat on one of the open computers. I pulled an empty chair and sat beside her. She told me about what she had been doing recently. A. and I had experimented before but what she was telling me now was different altogether. She opened a website and showed me hers and I was blown away. The audaciousness of the idea excited me. We played around for a while and then the teacher came to close up the lab.

I couldn't wait to get home and try it out for myself. I quickly signed up for my own account and then I was at it. Seven years later and I am still at it. I've had not a few partners. Some of these relationships barely lasted a day, others for years. You could say that I am still learning the ropes and looking for what I really want.

This however, will be the first anonymous blog that I make. There are things about myself that I am afraid to tell to the people closest to me. Or it could be that this is a performance where I can bare my innermost heart without having to show my face. Or I could just be lonely.