Tuesday

On stuff that make me smile

When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remembery my favorite things and then I don't feel so bad. If you were able to read through that without singing it in your head, then congratulations on your iron self-control. If you don't know the song, then you can stop reading this right now. Just kidding.


And if you do know the song and are into experimental music, check out this mindblowing cover:





***

I like to pretend that I am a happy person. This is the only way that I make it through life alive. And pretending to be happy involves smiling all the time, making stupid jokes, and generally being avoidant of anything stressful. All of which is quite easy to achieve. I have discovered that a very good way of causing myself to smile is to think happy thoughts. Happy thoughts are very cheap. For example, last night I was queuing at the check-out counter of my neighborhood hypermarket and ahead me was an insanely attractive gay couple. I eavesdropped on their conversation and noticed that they were speaking Bisaya. This made me smile. Also, when I was in our building's elevator, I saw myself in the mirror. This made me smile too. I make it a point to see myself on any reflective surface because this always makes me smile. This is kinda vain but I figure that if I derive all my happiness from external sources, I will be putting myself in a dangerous situation. Like what if I survive the Apocalypse but everyone I know is dead and there is nothing beautiful left in the city and everything is nasty, brutish, and short. There won't be any kittens or roses and definitely no apple streudels but at least, walking through the ruins of such a world as will be left behind, I could peek into a grimy car window and maybe see a rag doll inside, a doll that would evoke such a profound nostalgia in me as to cause me to cry, and my tears would wash away the dust on the window, and I would see my reflection in the glass and I would smile, and this would give me enough strength to survive for one more day, to walk on for one more day until finally I stumble upon a colony of other survivors. It's just like love, you know. If you can't make yourself happy what else can?

Happy thoughts are good not just for smiles but also for making a better world and a better future for us all. I sincerely believe that positive thinking is the way to go, and that imagining the future will make it happen. There is an explanation for this phenomenon that has to do with quantum physics and multiple dimensions but it's all still hazy right now. My homies at CERN haven't completed their research yet but early data shows that our brains emit bosons and quarks and other awesomely-named subparticles which we all know are what rainbow unicorns are made of. And if you can believe in rainbow unicorns you can make anything happen. Truefax. I've tried it. Like a week ago I was eating lunch and after lunch I went out to the balcony to smoke. The wind was uncommonly strong and I could almost swear that it was literally caressing me. It also reminded me of sitting beside the beach so what I did was I closed my eyes and I let my mind work its magic and then wow, it was great, I could totally smell the salt in the air and I could hear the waves breaking against the shore and I felt at peace. And the salt was not just in my imagination, no, it was real. Carried on that breeze was a speck of dust and that speck used to be part of a fish, a fish that lived in the Pacific Ocean maybe. And I didn't make up the sound of the waves, it was real. Somewhere in the South China Sea the waves are endlessly hurling themselves at the land, and the sound they make can be heard all the way to wherever you are, you just have to try.

***

Last weekend my sister had huge as boils on her face and her arms so she went to get herself checked and she came back with chickenpox. This is very bad news, obviously for her, but for me and Mark too because we haven't had the pox yet. She's in quarantine in her room because she's not allowed to fly home. I'm not very worried though because my inflated sense of confidence tells me that I will not catch the virus. I mean, I take like 1 Centrum tablet and 2 Myra 400 E capsules a day. I'm sure the antioxidants in 800++ IU of vitamin E will be enough to regenerate my cells before they even die. I also have it from a very reliable source that this zoster virus is easy to kill. So last night I bought a giant can of Lysol spray and 2L of Isopropyl Alcohol which I hope is enough to disinfect our apartment on a frequent-enough basis.

In keeping with the metaphysical theme, I would like to request anyone who hears this plea to imagine yourself folding a hundred paper cranes for my sister's health and mine. And world peace. Thank you.

11 comments:

  1. Writing this and then shamelessly self-commenting made me smile too.

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  2. be wary when your sister gets better. thats when the virus is more potent or dangerous. spray more lysol.

    when i had chickenpox before nobody at home got infected. wondered why.

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  3. is it chicken pox or mumps where if you get one when you're an adult will make you impotent?

    hope you'll be okay.

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  4. Abou, I'll keep that in mind.

    Engel, I think that's mumps.

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  5. julie andrews is so very...gay.

    ahahahahaha

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  6. oh wow.. getting chickenpox (is that bulutong?) at that age sucks big time...would you believe here they hold chickenpox parties, so when one child acquires it, everyone does too. para matapos na at a young age baga, magkahawahan na.

    anyways,stay happy and well :)

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  7. lol. it's reaaally hard for a gay man to resist singing along.

    chicken pox is actually already infectious even before the blisters show. yun nakadale sakin. lumipat-lipat pako ng apartment, yun pala nahawa na ako. lol.

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  8. Chicken pox = sick leave. Not a bad equation. Send me your sister's virus; I'll pay for the shipping. Do you have PayPal?

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  9. Whatever Ternie! She's so very... classic!

    Soltero, that's kinda scary, but practical. Chickenpox daw is more dangerous when you get it in adulthood.

    Ex Jason, are you sure about that? I read that you get the virus from the liquid inside the boils or something.

    Victor, sorry no PayPal. Also, I have no idea how to extract the virus without contracting it. :(

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  10. this made me smile too.
    and i watched the sound of music more than 40 times

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  11. oooh pomplamoose! i love their version of single ladies. the bridge was super duper dunny!

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