On being and going

Read GBV's opening speech.
Read my rebuttal.
Read his riposte.

What matters more - achieving something or working towards achieving it? In any result-oriented setting, effort definitely does not count. You may get partial points on your Ma 21 exam for an attempted solution but you still got the question wrong. You don't get promoted because you "tried hard to reach his quota", you get promoted because you do, and consistently.  Oh wait, I am mistaken. Effort does count - the way by which you achieve what you do is rewarded too.  After all, we live in a 'more' modern age. Efficiency is valued above all. Why take the long and tortuous route when the shortest way between two points is a straight line? Look at the people who occupy high positions in society, hell, look at how Gloria managed to stay in power for so long. One has to be ma-abilidad and ma-diskarte.

But does the same reasoning really apply to relationships? Can the laws of physics really help us to understand the workings of the heart? An easy one: the Law of Attraction. That's a yes. How about "Opposites attract"? Not always. Or Joker's koan: what happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object? Who knows. There are many such questions and no answers.The Universal Theory is an infinity away from being completely worked out.

These things - science and laws and breaking down processes into their component parts to be more efficient - these things are conceits of modernity. We are so consumed with speed and getting things done and underlying this, the immediate gratification from having what we (think we) want. Fast forward buttons. Fastfood. Fast love. Whatever happened to taking it slow? I am always happy for the opportunity to cook my own meals, or if not, at least to savor each spoonful when I eat. Have we forgotten that the joy of travelling is not in the being but in the going? The whole of our life is a testament to this fact: the point is not that we die in the end but that we have lived.

So yes, I insist that dating should be a requirement before getting committed, if only as a foil to highlight how important commitment is. One doesn't go from a white belt to a black belt. Or to use the speed metaphor, one doesn't accelerate from 1 to 100 without giving up a measure of control over velocity. Unless you are God.

PS. Ok, so I overdid the Physics thing a bit pero palaban ako eh. ;)


  1. I can see how this is affecting you.

    People have their way of meeting and committing.

    Take your time and find someone who appreciates the same.

    There is someone out there. For you.

  2. what are you two yakking about, anyways? enough of this already. the longer this drags, the more stupid both of you sound.

  3. process oriented? spoken like a true *someone who came from THAT school* ;)

    but i have to second guyrony here. along the way, you'll learn to adjust to whatever the situation calls for. there would be no right or wrong choices. what would matter is how you deal with the outcome of your decisions.

  4. Guyrony, thanks. Naiinis lang ako when guys move too fast. Turn off eh, at nasasayangan ako kasi minsan the guy seems nice naman pero yun, naging masyadong attached na siya akin.

    Anonymous, sorry kung hindi mo naintindihan. Ganyan talaga ang buhay. There are limits to our understanding.

    Ternie, at dahil walang right or wrong choices, kailangan natin magdiscern muna! Hahaha.